I haven't been very good at writing in my blog, but I really want to remember my feelings and what is going on in life right now.
We bought a house, Matt passed the bar exam and started officially working as an attorney. I guess we have officially "grown up."
At the beginning of the summer, after about 10 months of trying to get pregnant again, I was having a really hard time thinking I may not be able to get pregnant again. (It wasn't easy with my first 2 either) I decided I needed to not stress about it and try and find peace with my circumstance. I said a prayer, and promised that if I studied my scriptures every day of the entire summer, that I would get pregnant. Well, a couple of months into it, I was not pregnant. I prayed again and realized I was praying for the wrong thing, I decided to pray that I would be content and feel peace with whatever happened. A few weeks later, almost towards the end of the summer, I found out once again that I was not pregnant. The difference this time was that I really did feel at peace. I wasn't stressed about it and decided maybe I was supposed to do something different at that point in my life, and enjoy the sweet kids that I do have. I started teaching spinning for ISU, babysitting a few kids, we bought our house, moved into our new ward and I got put in to work with the Young Women. Life was good. I felt like I could be okay if I wasn't able to get pregnant again, although I was still trying and hoping.
The next month, 4 months after my first prayer, I found out I was pregnant. I don't think anyone will completely understand (well, yes, I am sure there are people who have felt this) what I felt when I found out I was pregnant. I walked out to Matt, who didn't believe me at first, and just cried in his arms. Tears of joy. I am So grateful I am going to be blessed with another baby. Some may say it was only a little over a year of trying, but month in month out it is not easy to have those feelings of serious disappointment.
This has not been the easiest pregnancy, I am 17.5 weeks and still really sick. It is getting better but it's not going away. I have definitely had ungrateful moments when I can't sleep or feel so sick I can't do anything, but I am trying.
It is such a wonderful privilege to be a mother and it is my favorite thing in the world to be. My kids bring my husband and I all of our joy in our life.
Life is great!
6 comments:
I am so excited for you - getting that positive test is the best feeling ever after so much disappointment. Hope you feel better soon!
I am so happy for you! I can't wait to see another of your super cute kids!!! Whenever pregnancies happen, it's always the right time.
I can definitely relate to this--not only the trying to get pregnant part but also the changing the prayers part--trying to stop changing the Lord's will but instead of asking for strength to handle whatever comes...it's hard! But I am so happy for your guys and hope you feel better soon.
Chelsey I am so happy for you:) I do understand what you were saying. We tried 4 1/2 for Truman and we have been trying the last 3 years since Rachel.
I also understand changing how we pray to align our will with God's will. It is difficult to do, but so much better.
Children really one of the greatest blessings that Heavenly Father gives us. Congratulations!!!!!
You guys are always a true inspiration. We love you. Congrats on the pregnancy!!
So excited for another Stucki baby!!
Post a Comment