I haven't been very good at writing in my blog, but I really want to remember my feelings and what is going on in life right now.
We bought a house, Matt passed the bar exam and started officially working as an attorney. I guess we have officially "grown up."
At the beginning of the summer, after about 10 months of trying to get pregnant again, I was having a really hard time thinking I may not be able to get pregnant again. (It wasn't easy with my first 2 either) I decided I needed to not stress about it and try and find peace with my circumstance. I said a prayer, and promised that if I studied my scriptures every day of the entire summer, that I would get pregnant. Well, a couple of months into it, I was not pregnant. I prayed again and realized I was praying for the wrong thing, I decided to pray that I would be content and feel peace with whatever happened. A few weeks later, almost towards the end of the summer, I found out once again that I was not pregnant. The difference this time was that I really did feel at peace. I wasn't stressed about it and decided maybe I was supposed to do something different at that point in my life, and enjoy the sweet kids that I do have. I started teaching spinning for ISU, babysitting a few kids, we bought our house, moved into our new ward and I got put in to work with the Young Women. Life was good. I felt like I could be okay if I wasn't able to get pregnant again, although I was still trying and hoping.
The next month, 4 months after my first prayer, I found out I was pregnant. I don't think anyone will completely understand (well, yes, I am sure there are people who have felt this) what I felt when I found out I was pregnant. I walked out to Matt, who didn't believe me at first, and just cried in his arms. Tears of joy. I am So grateful I am going to be blessed with another baby. Some may say it was only a little over a year of trying, but month in month out it is not easy to have those feelings of serious disappointment.
This has not been the easiest pregnancy, I am 17.5 weeks and still really sick. It is getting better but it's not going away. I have definitely had ungrateful moments when I can't sleep or feel so sick I can't do anything, but I am trying.
It is such a wonderful privilege to be a mother and it is my favorite thing in the world to be. My kids bring my husband and I all of our joy in our life.
Life is great!